Oct. 31, 2000 - Douglas Denies Irish Link, Marshmallow Addiction The Catsociated Press WASHINGTON, DC - Vice Presidential candidate Douglas tonight vehemently denied reports that he has ties to the Irish Setter Republican Army, and that he is addicted to marshmallows. A news leak, thought to have come from either Choke-Chainey or Liebermanx headquarters, has accused Douglas of collaborating with an ISRA operative known only as "Lucky" to receive illicit shipments of marshmallows. "Obviously, Mr. Douglas is engaging in some sort of coded illegal activity. He's always after marshmallows," the memo read. "We have documented evidence that he and this Lucky have ordered several kinds of marshmallows to be shipped in to the country. He has arranged for pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes, all for his own consumption." "While it is true I believe marshmallows are magically delicious, I also eat the frosted oat cereal, too," countered Douglas. The nation's first-ever black feline candidate is in Washington, DC for Tuesday's "Million Manx March". Presidential hopeful Bella, arriving in Washington late Monday by Greycat bus for the Manx rally, added, 'I am behind Douglas one hundred percent. If he wants to pass up Fancy Feast for marshmallows, that's his business." Reports that the Bella campaign received donations from Kraft Inc. and Just Born Inc. were unconfirmed at press time.