THE AMANXING RACE 3
Episode 1: NO BULL
LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY TO MARBELLA, SPAIN
Dedicated to The Memory Of Spotty, Depot and Quincy
 

The twin spires of Churchill Downs – since 1875, horse enthusiasts have gathered here to cheer on the participants in the “Run for the Roses,” the Kentucky Derby.

Such famous names as Citation, Affirmed, Seattle Slew, Genuine Risk, Funny Cide, Amanxing Race I participants War Emblem and Monarchos, and the greatest of them all, Secretariat, raced into the history books and into the hearts of race fans everywhere. Now, thirteen pairs of Racers have gathered here at Churchill Downs to begin The Amanxing Race 3: Globe Trotters!

I’m Phil Kiwi, from New Zealand, and I’m here with my co-commentator, Koko the Talking Gorilla, from the United States, and it’s almost Post Time.
 
For this Amanxing Race, we’ve invited teams from around the world to join our past participants, Bella and Douglas and Hercules and Maxx, and this looks to be our most interesting Race yet.

All seven continents are represented this year. We’ve got Joey and Larry, lemur friends from Madagascar – will they freak out?

Monty and Holly, from England, are used to traveling with MI5 protection on the royal yacht – how will they fare when trying to compete in the Amanxing Race?

Ernesto and Fermin, the bulls from Spain, have participated every year in what they call the Running-of-the-Humans – will that give them an advantage?

Our first ever winged competitors, Burgess and Meridith from Antarctica, have recently split up after raising their first chick. Will the race bring them back together, or will the chill in their relationship continue?  

Finally, will our Cuban racers, Desi and Celia, be Havana good time? Koko, what do you think?
 
“Koko love race. Race back. Koko love black cat, big horn cow, monkeys. Koko love All Ball cat and All Ball dogs. No bad white cat. Koko love little black white bird. Koko love race.”

 

We have a new twist to the Race this year, a Fast Forward. This is Alejandrito, the Almiqui from Cuba. Teams will be looking out for Alejandrito along the Raceways. The first team to find him on certain legs of the Race can skip all tasks and go directly to the Pet Stop, but they must bring Alejandrito with them. Teams may only use a Fast Forward once per Race.

AND THEY’RE OFF!

The teams run to the Kentucky Derby finish lines to find their first clue: Fly to Madrid, Spain, and find the painting by Goya called “Cat Fight” in the Prado Museum.

There’s a jam for cabs outside the racetrack, with Ernesto and Fermin pushing to the front of the line, along with Bela and Victoria and Bella and Douglas. Monty and Holly try to herd everyone into a big group, and they get snorted at by Bela. Desi and Celia look lost, and the monkeys and lemurs have decided to share a cab to the airport. Burgess and Meredith are honking at each other, and the kangaroos Adelaide and Sydney are fighting.

The crowds at the Louisville airport are quite unprepared to see bulls, hippos, monkeys and donkeys running into the building. Many locals scream and run away, which is fine with our Racers who may have never been to Spain, but they kind of like the music.

Akira and Toshiro and Joey and Larry get tickets on a connecting flight through Chicago. Ernesto and Fermin, Bonita and Geraldo, Bella and Douglas, Hercules and Maxx, and Celia and Desi are flying through Miami. Other racers will be flying through New York and Boston.
 
Not surprisingly, the Miami flight arrives first, and Bella and Douglas are first to get to the Prado. The bulls are delayed slightly when Fermin spots some flowers and sits down to smell them, but Ernesto urges him on to the Museum.
 
Bella and Douglas are first to find their next clue, and it’s a “Road Block” called “Don Quixote.” Teams must proceed to the Las Ventas Plaza de Toros, where one team member will have to joust at a windmill. The bulls are a little reluctant to go, but Hercules and Bella remind them they’re in the Race and aren’t going to have to deal with matadors.

While Fermin, Douglas, Celia, Geraldo, and Maxx are jousting, the New York flight lands, and the donkeys, corgis, penguins, and Russian Blues head over to the Prado.

Oh, no, what’s this? A storm in Chicago? The monkeys are delayed! But they’re too busy clowning to put anybody down, and they entertain stranded passengers at O’Hare.

The first group, cheered on by hundreds of Madrilenos, has finished jousting, and they’ve received their clues: Take the train to Malaga, then find a marked taxi and go to Marbella to the Pet Stop: the Orange Square in Marbella. Douglas thinks he’s going to get real oranges, and Bella thinks it was named after her. They are able to take the 3:30 train to Malaga.

 

As the New York group arrives at the Prado, and the Boston flight lands, Alejandrito peeks out from under a rose bush and Ibrahim spots him. He and Omara, with Alejandrito riding on his back, are able to get to the train station to also ride on the 3:30 train to Malaga.

On the train to Malaga, the two United States teams invite the donkeys, bulls, and Team Havana to join them in an alliance. The alpacas, having fallen asleep in another car, miss out.

In Malaga, there’s again a mad dash for marked taxis to Marbella, but somehow the donkey father and daughter are able to arrive at Orange Square first. They amble to the Pet Stop, where they’re met by Antonio Banderas with an Andalusian horse .

“Welcome to Spain! Ibrahim and Omara, you are Team Numero Uno. You’ve won $10,000 worth of hay, which you can eat at the conclusion of the Race."

The bulls are second, alpacas third, Hercules and Maxx fourth and Bella and Douglas are fifth.
 
By the time the Chicago flight arrives in Madrid, the rest of the teams have boarded the 5:30 train to Malaga. Joey and Larry run about crazily while Akira and Toshiro try to get them to follow the directions to the Museum and then to the now virtually empty Plaza.

At the Pet Stop, it’s a mad dash to the finish, but the Madagascar lemurs run backwards and hit the mat with their long tails first.

“Akira and Toshiro, you’re the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you you’re the first team to bow out of the Amanxing Race 3.”

WRITTEN BY BECKY BANFIELD
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER DAVE HUNTER & BELLA T. MANX
Inspired by The Amazing Race on CBS

Next time on the Amanxing Race 3: Globe Trotters: The Alliances storm Omaha Beach and then it’s time for a Dutch treat!

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